ADHD, Leadership and Letting Go
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Ever notice how much harder it is to let go of an idea than it is to generate a new one?
Do you notice how easy it is for things to get on to your task list and how hard it is to remove them?
Many of my Global Creative clients pride themselves on their ability to create - to build new products and generate new ideas, connect their people to possibility. My clients are makers more than managers. They are original thinkers. Their value is in their creative and innovative work. This is, in part, the divergent wiring of ADHD. It is very easy to create, fabricate, build and construct. Conversely, it is much harder to do the opposite - to dismantle, deconstruct, delete and especially to let go…
Ideas and projects or tasks are not the only things impacted by this one-way generative phenomenon. It happens with beliefs too. And challenges with letting go of beliefs that no longer serve you may be impacting your ability to lead more effectively and work more efficiently.
Fabricating meaning, generating a story or a belief based on limited information is so easy for those of us with ADHD. For one, it is easy for humans. As a part of a survival mechanism, the brain will quickly assess a situation to keep itself at the ready for any incoming threat, even if that means making assumptions that may be inaccurate. When stressed, fearful or anxious this system becomes even more active. Add ADHD and challenges with inhibiting thoughts and feelings and we can quickly formulate or reinforce beliefs. Oh, this additive approach is stimulating too.
Deconstructing thoughts, meaning and beliefs that are outdated and that no longer serve us? This is not stimulating, interesting or fun. It is hard work and EF intensive. Letting go of anything for a Global Creative can feel like a failure or setback. This building/unbuilding imbalance can create a real challenge for leaders and decision-makers with ADHD. It has us carry so much extra 'belief baggage' into every day, into every interaction and decision we have to make. Opportunities and environments change and grow over time. Thinking that served us ten years ago may not serve us now. Adaptation and change are key to staying relevant and resilient. As we tweak and adjust and add new thinking, there is an opportunity to release thoughts and perspectives that are no longer relevant, personally and professionally.
Letting Go
As I was considering this post on on letting go I kept thinking about the times as I child we launched floating lanterns on New Year’s Eve over the Chesapeake Bay. At the time I did not fully grasp the cultural and historical significance of releasing lanterns - to welcome the new and wish for prosperity but also let go of the old. I just thought it was cool. But now I see it as a reminder that as I build knowledge and awareness, I want to give time and attention to letting go of thoughts and practices that no longer serve me. I view letting go in almost a ceremonial way since it is not my first inclination.
Practice reviewing your thoughts and feelings about a concern, an initiative, a candidate or a program.
What is your current position or perspective?
How do your thoughts and feeling support your position?
Is your own thinking still relevant or has it slipped past it's ‘due date’ like milk that is about to turn?
Is there something you are holding onto? Some rule or principle?
Often we can unearth unhelpful perspectives when we explore situations where we get emotionally heightened while defending a position, decision or practice. Emotions can give us a clue to some unhelpful attachment. Staying detached is actually a skill in coaching and as a part of my presentation on emotion informed presence to ADHD coaches at a national conference, I offered the following prompt to identify emotions that may be driving choices and behavior:
What’s in play?
How is it supporting/hindering?
How is it influencing perspective?
How might it inform the experience?
This practice in letting go is a reflective practice. Make space for this in your week and you will feel lighter and more agile in your decision making.