Dropped Balls and Agreement Fade

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We know all too well about the dropped ball - we commit to a project or task and then we subsequently fail to deliver on that action. We all have experienced it and we all hate it when it happens and yet it does. Those of us with ADHD can really struggle here and in a myriad of ways from breakdowns in capturing the intention, remembering the intention, initiating the task and finally finishing the task. Even when we do drop a ball we can drop the ball again in not communicating what we did not do. This communication breakdown is systemic in all organizations and not just an ADHD issue.

When we do drop a ball the first thing we do is look for a break down in our task tracking system followed soon there after by an an internal evaluation of how we basically screwed up, mixing the data with feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy. This is actually a missed opportunity to explore the agreements surrounding the task. When we commit to a task we create an unwritten agreement with ourselves and with others especially those with a vested interest. Curiously, ADHD people will experience a phenomenon I call the agreement fade. We will commit to a task either not thinking about the agreements both internal and external or we will let the original agreements fade to the background and replace them with convincing rationales for adjusting or minimizing the task.

Well, Sarah asked for that brief 4 months ago and she hasn’t asked since so maybe she doesn’t need it?

The Latest and Loudest Agreement

Many Global Creatives have a default agreement or principle to Do the most urgent first. This is a 600 lb gorilla that shreds most other more nuanced agreements regarding task commitments. Urgency is often our primary motivator for completion and really limits our ability to use time as a ally. Also, developing thoughtful and strategic agreements is a nice alternative to any default accountability agreement that gets established - I should do this because I promised it! This is too simplistic for our fast paced work environments and bases outcome too much on willpower alone.

So take a moment to review the important tasks in your life, at work and home. If you locate a dropped or even stagnant ball chances are the agreement either needs to be refined or refreshed. Have you identified a few ‘Shoulds’? Really consider if completing these items is a real priority. Since Global Creatives struggle with prioritization and internal decision making discuss agreements with those with a vested interest. After the initial embarrassment of bringing up the idle task you and your partner can revive the agreement bringing needed clarity and definition to the job and some measurement of success. SMART goals is a nice process where you can seamlessly fold in the agreement piece.